Is your computer fucking you up?

Relax! And welcome to my ergonomic world.

The year was 2014. I had been working at BuzzFeed for six months, and suddenly, my finger started twitching. It was my mouse-clicking finger, and I realized I had been so glued to a computer for those six months that I was developing RSI (repetitive strain injury). But I was way too young to have a twitchy finger! I had my whole life of being glued to a computer ahead of me!

At the time, I was squished next to my peers in an open office plan, clicking away on a wireless Apple Magic Mouse:

Looking at it again sends SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE.
This mouse SUCKS.
Think I’m alone? Try googling Apple Mouse + Pain or Apple Mouse + RSI.

If six months made my pointer finger twitch uncontrollably, I shuddered to think what using this thing long-term would do to me. So, I started researching a replacement.

I ended up with the Evoluent VerticalMouse.

Yeah, it looks goofy. And yeah, I know you want to give me a wedgie right now.

But listen up! This mouse changed the game! Within a week, no more twitchy finger! In fact, I’ve used these mice for nearly a decade now, and I’ve NEVER had another RSI-type problem.

There are a bunch of cheaper vertical mice out there, and if you want to try a bunch as I did, God bless ya. But, if you wish to cut to the chase, spend a bit of coin (anywhere from $85-115), get the Evoluent.

They call these types of mice “handshake” mice because instead of twisting your arm as you do with most mice, your arm stays neutral as if you’re shaking someone’s hand. Here, look, this creepy image on their website sums it up:

I used to have the wireless version but found it sometimes had connection issues (at the most crucial times) and recently switched to the wired “D” version.

HOLD THE PHONE

Do you think I just replaced a fucking mouse?

No way. If I’m going to go Ergonomic…

I’M GOING TO GO FULL ERGONOMIC

In 2014, standing desks were pushing to the mainstream, especially in tech offices. I remember one of my BuzzFeed colleagues constructing a makeshift standing desk on top of his sitting desk.

I didn’t jump on the standing desk thing at first, but as time passed, something happened from sitting so much…

LOWER BACK PAIN, BABY!!!

So, I got a Jarvis standing Desk.

I’m sure there are all sorts of standing desks out there. Some massively more expensive, some cheaper. But this desk has served me well for nearly a decade.

Do I stand all the time? Nah, not even close. But I do try to stand for at least half the day. And that’s enough for me. If I get a twinge of lower back pain, I will stand all day because sitting is usually bad news.

THE KEYBOARD

You thought that mouse was weird looking? Well, I hope you’re sit-standing desk down, because…

Yeah, I’m that asshole.

This is the Matias Ergo Pro Keyboard.

It’s a split keyboard that tilts various degrees and has built-in wrist rests.

The split design pushes your arms back to a more neutral position, so you’re not hunched over as much, and the tilting allows you to get them more into that “handshake” position.

I love the damn thing. The keys are mechanical but quiet and “mushier” than a typical mechanical keyboard. You could type all day on it — there is absolutely no fatigue. Whenever my wife uses my computer, though, she grumbles when confronted by it, so this isn’t for everyone.

HOWEVER

I recently needed an all-in-one keyboard design because I was working on a smaller desk, and the Matias was too big and unwieldy to fit.

This is the Keychron V10.

It’s an “Alice-style” keyboard that sorta splits the keyboard into two and rounds out the keys, so you’re getting a little closer to that “handshake” position. It also has three tilt positions. I got it with brown switches, which are tactile but not super loud.

To be honest, the Keychron is MY FAVORITE KEYBOARD to type on. The premium keys feel better than the cheaper-keyed (oil-prone) Matias, and the click is so satisfying. These are the keys I crave when writing the novel or screenplay.

However, the Matias still wins for being the least fatiguing to type on. If you’re into mechanical keyboards and don’t mind them feeling a little “mushy,” I don’t think there’s a keyboard that touches the Matias right now. The split design on the Matias is customizable in that you could push them closer together or spread them farther apart. For an old ergonomic dog like myself, I have them spread the farthest they can be.

But if that split design has you running scared, try an Alice-style keyboard like the one above.

THE CHAIR

If you’ve worked in any office, you might be very familiar with the Herman Miller Aeron chair:

In fact, I think it was legally required for all startups to use them.

And yes, I saved my hottest take for the end of this substack post.

I think Herman Miller Aeron chairs SUCK.

Did I just blow your wig back?

Are you clutching your pearls yet???

Those Aeron chairs were designed for “tasks” at your desk, not for sitting glued to a computer (in my case) video editing for hours upon hours.

Aeron chairs eventually caused my back to ache. And they’re too expensive to do that!

If you’re going to drop serious money on a chair, that should last a lifetime. It needs to be better than the Aeron chair. It just has to!

The Herman Miller Embody is that chair for me.

I’m a tall man-sized person, and when I’m video editing, I’m locked in for hours at a time. I’m sure there are plenty of comparison videos, articles, etc., on these chairs, but here’s what it boils down to for me…

This chair just kind of…adapts to whatever position I’m in. If I’m sitting with perfect posture, it fits to me. If I’m reclined back, exhausted, it fits to me. I feel like the chair is “honest”; it knows you’re not going to sit perfectly all day, like some ergonomic prince. In other words, the chair adapts to you, not the other way around. I’ve been in every dumb position with this thing — and I never pay for it later. I never ache.

The back almost looks skeletal! And perhaps explains how it feels as if it adapts to whatever position you’re in.

This chair + standing occasionally = less back pain for me.

IN CONCLUSION

You may be a younger person, scoffing at this article, thinking, “NOT ME, MAN” I’ll just “create content” all the live-long day without consequences! But, let me be that wise sage, that Ergonomic wizard, sliding into your life, telling you to look for warning signs.

Beware the twitchy finger.