One of the biggest thrills of my life was when the script for my first feature film, "The Cleanse,” started making the rounds with actors. For years, I had tried to make the film, and suddenly, agencies were hip to the movie and excited to give their clients my script. I met with many actors, 99% of whom I was aware of. But some were slipped “The Cleanse” without my knowledge.
Courtney Love was one of them.
Now listen, I’m a Courtney Love fan. But I’ve read enough stories about her to know she might be…prickly. The movie was ambitious, with lots of practical effects, and the last thing I needed was a difficult actor.
Still, I wouldn’t turn down a chance to have dinner with her.
Johnny Galecki, the movie’s lead, joined me, and we met her at a closed restaurant somewhere near Beverly Hills. I'm not sure why the place was closed or if this was just something famous people did, but no one was there except for me, Courtney Love, and Johnny Galecki.
The weird thing about our meeting was that…she never acknowledged me. She only spoke to Johnny. This continued for thirty minutes as I shrunk into the background. I have no idea why she did this. Maybe she thought I was Johnny’s assistant?
Johnny, being a mensch, kept trying to bring me into the conversation.
"Well, you know, Bobby wrote the script," he'd say.
Nothing.
“Oh, you know, Bobby’s directing this.”
Nah, dude.
The prompts never worked, and you know what? It’s fine! Instead, Courtney delighted us with Hollywood gossip. Gossip about ex-boyfriends, family members, friends, nothing was off-limits. She was an open book. And so goddamn entertaining.
At a certain point, she wanted to head outside to a nearby alley. Johnny and her chain-smoked while she regaled us with a story about Fight Club. She was apparently cast in the film but punched David Fincher and lost the job.
I wasn’t sure why she was telling me this story. The last thing I needed was for an actress to take a swing at me. I have my own problems! But then it began to dawn on me that maybe this wasn’t about making my movie. It was just about hanging out.
I loosened up.
We returned to our table, and Courtney, now realizing I existed in the world, turned to me and asked, with all sincerity, if I had spoken to Warren.
"Warren?" I asked.
Johnny's agent's name was Warren, so I thought she was referencing him.
"Warren Beatty," she clarified.
I almost did a spit-take. This was the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard in my life. But her eyes were trained on me. She was serious.
"Oh, uh, no, I've never met Warren Beatty," I said.
"Oh," she replied, disappointed. "Warren calls all the men in Hollywood. You gotta get the Warren call.”
“Huh.”
She stared off. “It’s like your official initiation into Hollywood. A rite of passage for up-and-coming men.”
We finished our meal, and I honestly forget if we ever really talked about the script—the script that was slipped to her by some unknown entity.
Afterward, Johnny and I went for a walk. We were quiet for a bit. Processing all of the Hollywood gossip and her casual mentions of Kurt Cobain as if his passing had happened months ago.
Finally, he turned to me and said, "Well. Fuck. I've been in this business since I was a little kid and never got the Warren Beatty call!"
We laughed.
Anjelica Huston ended up with the role. Thankfully, she never took a swing at me.